i wanna be a teenagerseriously messed up stuff
by xglittergigglesx
Summary: The prof wants to feel like a teenager so he reads his students minds....Warning seriously messed up! Next chapter up...probably last! I am pretty hyper so it is insane making fun of lyk, everyone.
1. Chapter 1

_**Xaivor wants to feel younge again. So he...reads his students minds!This is just Scott, Jean, Kurt, Kitty, Evan and Rogue**_

Xaivor had gathered all his x-men in his office. Yes his. They were all his and no one could have them! Alllllllll his allllll his! Yes. Yessssssss.  
"Now you have all agreed to this? You all know i will feel what you feel most of the time and what you want and like?" He said in a fatherly voice even though he really bearly talks to half of them.  
"Sure!"  
"Like totally,"  
"Ja!"  
"Whatever."  
"Dude."  
"Ofcourse master!"  
"Ok..." He consentrated. "I have the overwhelming urge to go and wear a black lycra mini-skirt and clothes that are ludicrisly tight and show off my figure and make guys want to touch me even though they shouldn't."  
Everyone looked at Rogue.  
"Don't look at me!"  
Scott coughed uncomfetably.  
They all look at each other and shudder.  
"Anyway..." The professer moved on quickly. "Now...i'm thinking i'm the smartest person hear but have the urge to throw up and my shoulders look like mens shoulders...and i also wish i was having sexual relations with...the Todd?"  
"That would be me!" Jean shrugged and then relised the looks she was getting. "Come on imagine what he could do with that Tounge!"  
Kitty and Rogue thought about it for a second then nodded in agreement as the men in the room looked confused.  
"Ok so now...i want to drink gallons of milk, skate and finally have a personality other that those two things...plus i have a urge to have sexual intercourse with Kitty?"  
Scott, who, stood inbetween the Professer and moved pushing her forward onto his lap. "There you go oh great master!"  
"No this is not my feelings but someone elses!" He blushed pushing a very confused Kitty away.  
"Dude!" Evan waved his hand.  
"Oh ofcourse Evan!"  
"Dude." He nodded matter-of-factly.  
Kitty was still confused but passed Evan a card that had a hotel name and room number on it. "10 o'clock tonight."  
Evan grinned. "DUUUUUUUUDE."  
"Ehhhh now i have had nothing but agast, abuse, lies and hurt in my life and i am also a show hog."  
"That would be me!" Rogue spoke up still recovering from the fact that Scott wanted to wear a black lycra skirt.  
"I agree a real show hog," Kurt nodded.  
"I am afraid that Jean is smarter than me but i comfort myself in knowing that i am a hell of alot cuter, nicer, sweeter, more lovable and sexier than her."  
"Definatly me!" Kitty smiled lightly wiggeling her fingers in a wave.  
"Thanks for covering!" Kurt hissed at her and she gave him an strange look.  
"Covering? There my thoughts?"  
"Ohhh ofcourse!" Kurt blushed a intresting shade then giggled.  
"I am feeling rather exausted so now i want you to all get the hell outta my office!" The professer yelled. "I am so happy im not a teen anymore!"  
"Ok we're going...im going to call Todd...see if he wants to hook up before my time with Evan..." Kitty skipped out the room followed by everyone else exept the professer who went into his bottom desk draw and pulled out a bottle of vodka.  
"Why do i still want to wear a black mini skirt?"

**Kvan? Kodd? What am i on! I have no idea where Kvan came from since i am a dedicated Lancitty fan but hey!**

**R&R or i will eat your soul! Mwahahahahahahaha...oh am i still typing? SHT  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Persian85033:Yes neither had I till i worte that fic, and the mini skirt thing? Well i'm pretty sure anyone would expect that from him!**

**DusaWilde:High? No. Clinically insane? Quite possiably but no i am not high.**

**ToffePopcorn:Thank u i like making people laugh. It gives me great pleasure!**

Ok So in my last chapter we found out that Rogue is full of agast(Suprise, Suprise!), Scott likes to wear skirts(Once again suprise suprise), Jean has the urge to have sex with Toad, Evan can't say anything but Dude and wants to screw Kitty, Kurt has some pretty messed up feelings and Kitty is the mutant version of Jesabelle. Ok now next chapter!

Evan sat up and looked at the empty space beside him on the motel bed and cursed...well not that he can really curse...so..."DUUUUUUUUDE!" He screamed instead in a upset way. Last night was the most dudeiful, night of his whole dudeing life. Now the Dudeiful girl he shared it with had left him in the bed alone. Dude.

Rogue sat in her room crying. Kitty skipped in, phasing threw the door...and the bed, and her shoes strewn about, and a desk, and a computer till she crossed the endlessness of cool things and got to Rogues bed.  
"Rogue like, whats, like wronge? Like." She asked her bestest ever friend-closly followed by Wanda-and looked at Rogue in a cute way that oozed cutelyness.  
"Drama! Drama, drama, drama AGAST!" Rogue sobbed and Kitty nodded sypmathetically.  
"Like, like, like, ya know, totally." Kitty spoke to Rogue in the same complecated language of words.  
"Agast!" Rogue cryed hugging her best friend-closly followed by Jubilee-and somehow managed to not absorb her.  
"Ya know, erm, totally, like, sooooooo, ya know!" Kitty pats her bestest friend ever-closly followed by Wanda-back.  
"Drama, drama, REVENGE, loveless."  
"Totally, like, flirt, flirt, flirt, ya know sooooooo hehehe." Kitty stands up and phased threw the endlessness of totally cool things and went out the door to find some other guys to flirt with.

Scott was standing in his room, looking in the mirror, wearing a tight leather mini skirt and a green corset. "Whos a pretty girl!" He said to the mirror image of himself. "You are, yes you are! Who's prettier that Jean! I am yes i am"  
Annnnnnyway.

Kurt was sitting, watching tv.  
5 minutes later.Still watching tv.  
10 minutes later.  
Oh he burped...while watching tv.

Jean was lying in a dingy room naked looking at the body beside her. Todd. Hey he wasn't a looker but his tounge! Wow useful much!  
"Hey babe!" Todd woke up and kissed her making her giggle.  
"Hiya Toady!"  
"Wanna go again?"  
"Sure!"  
They sat up and picked up the controllers to Toads PS1 and played crash bash while laughing manically.

Kitty meanwhile had found the new recruits and had spotted one boy in particular."Like hi like Roberto like aka like mr Money like."  
"Hello." The brazilian dude said in his braziliany accent that sounded very brazilian.  
"Would you like, wanna, like date me! I like, really like, like you and like only like partly because of your like money!" Kitty smiled in a cute way that once again oozed cutelyness.  
"Sure, because i'm rich and stuff i'll date you even though i bearly said one word to you in the show." He said in his braziliany accent that sounded very brazilian.  
"Great now we can go and get married in vegas and have wild monkey sex!" Kitty squeeled then noticed the looks she was getting. "Like, like, ohmygod, like, sooooo, ya know!"  
Everyone else went back to work and Kitty grabbed Robertos hand and pulled him into a bright red car that mysteriously appeared in the driveway.  
Suddenly Evan came running upto her.  
"Dude, dude, duuuuuuuuuuude, DUDE!" He begged her in a begging way.  
"Like, like, ya know, sooooo, ohmygosh!" Kitty shook her head making her pony tail bounce in a bouncey way.  
Evan ran away crying. And then ran and ran and ran and ran some more.  
Suddenly from Rogues and Kittys room full of endlessness and cool things came the yells.  
"Drama! Drama, drama, agast! Remy! drama drama drama...touchyness! Love! Happiness! Lies! Dramaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"  
"Like ya know like, like!" Kitty yelled at her.  
"Drama!" A gloved hand is seen waving.  
"Like!" She waved and got in the car that Roberto was starting up in a loud way.  
Then they drove away. For a while. Then came back married.

Now:  
Rogue found a way to touch Remy and they fell in love. Soon Rogue dumped Remy when she relised he was actually infertial.  
Evan never got over Kitty and went to live in the sewers. He now does sewery stuff.  
Kurt never stopped watching tv and is now a fully fleged member of couch potatos union and is currently fighting for advertisments to be taken off tv. Ofcourse this is via video since he still has not left the couch.  
Scott got his little man chopped off in a danger room sesion and decided to go the whole way and just become a woman. He now goes by the name Scottaleena.  
Jean and Todd are now touring the world as the undefeated crash bash duo.  
Kitty moved into Robertos mansion back in Brazil and is now Mrs DeCosta and rich. Her and Roberto make love like wild monkeys every night, and she has now learned to like Roberto for more than his money. He is great in bed.  
And Xaivors dream in all this? With one member in the sewers, one traveling with a toad dude, one in Brazil, once now a woman and one extra agasty Rogue? He trained the new recruits to be his evil flying monkeys and will randomly cackle "Fly my prettys fly!".

**R&R! It will feed my insanity. Which might not be a good thing...anyway Review. **


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